"And as it was in the beginning; shall it be again..."
Boggled by Beavers Again


Well I see you've made it this far, so here's some more!
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Should thy find that a bro or sys Pope shall be overcame by the naughty
grins of Greyface, that is a true signal of possession, and, under
the guidance of the five saints, with the help provided by Goddess,
thy should execute the following ritual

-><- Discordian Ritual of Exorcism -><-
-x- do not publish after the end of times -x-
Confidential were required
All Rites Reversed (k)

Preparation:
This ritual should take place on a Discordian Temple,
adequately prepared, with seats to the five directions, and
a Golden Apple hanging on the middle of it (1 ton. Pure gold,
please). Thou should set
to burn some Channel #5 to properly incense the atmosphere.

If it is not possible to provide these things, than proceed
on your living room. Try to turn of the teevee.


There will be need one Keeper of the Sacred Chao, to properly
conduct the ritual, and four other priests/popes to represent,
along with the K.S.C., the whole of the law of fives.

Ritual:
Say "Hail Eris"

Take the victim of possession to the center of the temple/living
room. Put it (for, at this stage it's a cabbage, not an human,
and so "it") on its knees. Go to the innermost part of the temple (pick
any
of the 5 vertices at random to work as innermost part), turn yourself
(if you are the acting K.S.C.) with your back towards the victim and
claim (meanwhile, the four priests should stay at the other vertices)

"Oh Goddess, thou who hadst maist all off us to be happy, and chaotic,
or
at most, balanced by the sacred chao. Look at this pitifull creature
who cannot see the truths, falsitys, and meaninglessness of life, and
is therefore worried or sd. Concede us now the power, fnord and
unauthority to expell from him these bad things from its wicked being."

Wait a couple minutes . One of the assistants should play "Obladi
Oblada"
at this time, and another should get the lights flicking.

Say, still with your back facing the victim

"Thanx Goddess", turn and face the possessed. Extend both your
hands toward him, forming the ancient "V"sign of the numeral five
(therefore 5, 5), or depending on your discordian sect, show two fingers
of
the left hand, and three of the right, representing the holy 23.

Say "with the powers taken from me by goddess Eris, and in the
name of the sacred Chao, I herewith take off you the spirit of
greyface. May you rejoice now."

Ask the victim if she (for now she should be human) feels happy and
chaotically filled.

If she says yes, than stop the ritual. It worked. Present her the fee
for
your clerical services, and move on to some beer.

If she saus "no", untie the 1 Ton Golden Apple, letting it fall on the
victim's head. The possessor spirits are now gone as well.

--------------------------------
Say "All Hail Discordia."

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Gnostic Humor


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Last updated: 7/15/99 at: 11:47:44 PM